"Men are from Earth,. Cause pretty soon they have little hats. By and large, language is a tool for concealing the truth. The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live. George Carlin, 46. The big wealthy business interests that control things and make all the important decisions. Thats the problem. George Carlin. We have multiplied our possessions but reduced our values. But there is an I in independence, individuality and integrity.George Carlin, Some people see the glass half full. Continue with Recommended Cookies. Government is an important institution. George Carlin is a Grammy-winning American stand-up comedian, actor, and author. All day long beating you over the head with their media telling you what to believe, what to think and what to buy. He made us notice the things we never did before in the form of his humor and this world will forever be grateful for this brilliant mind. [CDATA[ 383 talking about this. ! People are wonderful. 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The table is tilted, folks. 4. if (window.Mobvious === undefined) { } Its no secret that George Carlin was a bit of a political philosopher. Why not Despair, Guilt, Rage, and Grief? var cookiePair = cookie.split('='); They will do anything for the unborn. The challenge is to find it. A flag is supposed to represent everything that a country does. After all, he was one of the most successful comedians of all time! Quote by George Carlin: "Forget the politicians. The politicians are It takes up a lot of your time. Apparently, were not ready for that! George Carlin, 72. Life is not measured by the breaths you take, but by the moments that take your breaths away. Think of how stupid the average person is, and then realize that half of them are stupider than that. George Carlin. Pictures. Being considered as one of the top comedians of all time, George is well known for his black humor, political views, observations on language, psychology, and religion along with many other "//securepubads.g.doubleclick.net/tag/js/gpt.js"; Igor is a SEO specialist, designer, and freelance writer. People forget there is such a thing as memory, and that when a wound heals it leaves a permanent scar that never goes away, but merely fades a little. Because you have the illusion of choice! George Carlin, 76. Press Enter / Return to begin your search. } There is only a short pause before the next horrifying event. George Carlin Shitting on Government for 8 Minutes Straight LaughPlanet 900K subscribers Subscribe 42K 1.3M views 2 years ago #GeorgeCarlin #Comedy #America George Carlin Shitting on Government. If its true that our species is alone in the universe, then Id have to say the universe aimed rather low and settled for very little. George Carlin, 37. And apparently Im not a very good American because I like to form my own opinions.George Carlin, Im completely in favor of theseparation of Church and State. These two institutions screw us up enoughon their own, so both of them together iscertain death.George Carlin, I dont have pet peeves I have major psychotic fucking hatreds.George Carlin, I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, Wheres the self-help section? She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose.George Carlin, If your kid needs a role model and you aint it, youre both fucked. George Carlin,Brain Droppings, Its important in life if you dont give a shit. If you vote and you elect dishonest, incompetent people into office who screw everything up, you are responsible for what they have done. Some people have no idea what they're doing, and a lot of them are really good at it. init: function() { var googletag = googletag || {}; Do share your thoughts with us in the comment section and tell us which one was your favoriteGeorge Carlin quotesor if you want to ask any questions or have any query send them viaContact Us. throw new Error("could not load device-specific stylesheet : " + err.message); Deal with it. George Carlin, One can never know for sure what a deserted area can look like. George Carlin, A house is just a place to keep your stuff while you go out and get more stuff. George Carlin, I dont have pet peeves I have major psychotic fucking hatreds. George Carlin, Some people see the glass half full, others see it half empty. Like the boogie man. Its interested in its own power. About Us | Privacy Policy | Terms | Contact Us, Ronald Reagan Religious Quotes To Live Your Life As A True Believer, www.brainyquote.com/authors/george-carlin-quotes, www.quotes.thefamouspeople.com/george-carlin-1484.php, www.everydaypower.com/george-carlin-quotes. }); //123 Witty George Carlin Quotes on Life and Politics - Internet Pillar Everyone should try to scratch their name on the bomb of life. Laugh until you gasp for breath. George Carlin, 3. George Carlin Government Quotes "Religion is like a pair of shoes..Find one that fits for you, but don't make me wear your shoes." George Carlin "Religion is just mind control. My motto: Fuck Hope! George Carlin,Brain Droppings, Im happy to tell you there is very little in this world that I believe in. George Carlin,Brain Droppings, If everyone in the world sat quietly at the same time, closed their eyes and concentrated as hard as they could on peace and goodwill, all the killing and cruelty in the world would continue. Looking for the best George Carlin quotes? I just dont have as many people who believe it.George Carlin, How come when its us, its an abortion, and when its a chicken, its an omelet?George Carlin. Im not sure silencing people or forcing them to alter their speech is the best method for solving problems that go much deeper than speech. He was an American standup comedian. We are a nation of sheep, and someone else owns the grass. George Carlin, 79. They're always people who tell us to live together in harmony and try to love one another: Jesus, Ghandi, Lincoln, John Kennedy, Bobby Kennedy, Medgar Evers, Malcolm X, Martin Luther King, John Lennon. Yeah, I know, youre thinking. George Carlin > Quotes > Quotable Quote - Goodreads Thats the problem. George Carlin, 58. 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Tax them. 21 George Carlin Quotes On Government And Politics Carlin certainly aimed to provoke, but its the why and how of it that made him so exceptional. If you cant beat them, arrange to have them beaten. George Carlin, 47. Laugh until you gasp for breath.George Carlin, The caterpillar does all the work, but the butterfly gets all the publicity.George Carlin, Honesty may be the best policy, but its important to remember that apparently, by elimination, dishonesty is the second-best policy.George Carlin, People always tell me Have a nice day. Well what if I dont want to? try { Tom, Id like you to meet the girl of my dreams, Tragedy. These days, Trajedi. George Carlin,Brain Droppings, It turned out I was pretty good in science. I like it when a flower or a little tuft of grass grows through a crack in the concrete. At a formal dinner party, the person nearest death should always be seated closest to the bathroom. They all said: 'Try to live together peacefully.' Thats the problem. George Carlin, When fascism comes to America, it will not be in brown and black shirts. If honesty were suddenly introduced into American life, the whole system would collapse. And the invisible man has a list of ten specific things he doesn't want you to do. He believes that knowledge can change the world and be used to inspire and empower young people to build the life of their dreams. George Carlin 13. George Carlin > Quotes > Quotable Quote - Goodreads.com Weve added years to life, not life to years. George Carlin, Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck. George Carlin, Thats why they call it the American Dream, because you have to be asleep to believe it. George Carlin, Dont just teach your children to readteach them to question everything that they readteach them to question everything. George Carlin, Weve added years to life, not life to years. George Carlin, Those who dance are considered insane by those who cannot hear the music. George Carlin, In America, anyone can become president. . Improve yourself, find your inspiration, share with friends, George Carlin (2002). var cookies = document.cookie.split('; '); Its what our system produces: Garbage in, garbage out. page: {requestId: "RW7VD4AVX1H9239WWVVN", meaningful: "interactive"} Theres only the immediate future and the recent past. George Carlin, 22. document.getElementsByTagName("head")[0].appendChild(stylesheet); George Carlin Quotes Government George Carlin American Comedian born on May 12, 1937, died on June 22, 2008 George Denis Patrick Carlin was an American stand-up comedian, social critic, actor, and author. " George Carlin "Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist." George Carlin "I, myself, have killed six people. And armbands. Deal with it. Don't forget: YOU have the power to make ANYTHING happen. What if I want to have a crappy day?George Carlin, Not only do I not know whats going on, I wouldnt know what to do about it if I did.George Carlin, Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit.George Carlin, So, have a little fun. You don't. You have no choice. Feel free to reach out and connect. The reason I talk to myself is because Im the only one whose answers I accept. Whether we agreed with his acerbiccommentary or not, his words always reminded us of how sharp a weapon humor can be in slicing through the surface of our assumptions and leaving us, as he would say, gasping for breath.. Quotes. George Carlin was posthumously awarded the Mark Twain Prize for American Humor in 2008, after he passed away that year at the age of 71. Here we are sharing a collection of George Carlin quotes on religion, government, and life for you to think deeply about the things you have never done before. Life is a zero sum game. George Carlin, 36. Men are from Earth, women are from Earth. My mind doesnt work that way, I got this real moron thing I do, its called thinking and Im not a very good American because I like to form my own opinions I have certain rules I live by. George Carlin Quotes on Politics - LiveAbout It's what our system produces: Garbage in, garbage out. They own, and control the corporations. Carlin was noted for his black comedy and his thoughts on politics, the English language, psychology, religion, and various taboo subjects. Electricity is really just organized lightning. George Carlin, 20. The owners of this country know the truth: Its called the American dream because you have to be asleep to believe it. setDisplayBids: function() {}, The caterpillar does all the work, but the butterfly gets all the publicity. George Carlin, 15. Republicans have been trying to get people to work for no pay for a long time. George Carlin > Quotes > Quotable Quote (?) When you're born you get a ticket to the freak show. Vicious quotes and captions plus a big list of quotations about vicious, xenophobia, and brutal quotes by George Carlin and Francois de la Rochefoucauld. To me, authority is something that a freer spirit, a more independent mind, and a person who can handle the world, doesnt need guidance from. But again, because of the small budget, in science class we couldnt afford to do experiments in order to prove theories. Electricity is really just organized lightning. window.Mobvious.device_type = 'mobile'; Famous and remained in the controversies for his dark comedy and the reflections on politics, religions, and social taboo, Carlin is considered one of the most influential comedians of all time. Its only a piece of cloth. George Carlin, 75.The things that matter in this country have been reduced in choice, there are two political parties, there are a handful of insurance companies, there are six or seven information centers.. but if you want a bagel there are 23 flavors. Sooner or later the people in this country are going to realize: the government does not give a f**k about them. 101 Marianne Williamson Quotes That Will Enlighten You. We talk too much, love too seldom, and hate too often. Weve added years to life, not life to years. George Carlin, 6. Those who decide what news you will or will not hear are paid by, and tolerated purely at the whim of, those who hold economic power. George Carlin, Dont just teach your children to readTeach them to question what they read.Teach them to question everything.George Carlin, How can He be perfect? If churches want to play the game of politics, let them pay admission like everyone else. Tell people theres an invisible man in the sky who created the universe, and the vast majority will believe you. I have certain rules I live by. v. Pacifica Foundation, in which a 54 decision affirmed the government's power to regulate indecent material on the public airwaves (wikipedia). They will only bring you down to their level and beat you with experience. George Carlin, 2. //]]> - George Carlin quotes. Thats the only thing keeping it and expanding it wherever possible. Life is not measured by the number of breath we take, but by the moments that take our breath away. Ever. George Carlin. apstag.init({ Did you ever stop to thnk about all the people we kill? Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist. !function(){function n(n,t){var r=i(n);return t&&(r=r("instance",t)),r}var r=[],c=0,i=function(t){return function(){var n=c++;return r.push([t,[].slice.call(arguments,0),n,{time:Date.now()}]),i(n)}};n._s=r,this.csa=n}(); 8 George Carlin Quotes On Death That Will Make You Think! Theyre always people who tell us to live together in harmony and try to love one another: Jesus, Gandhi, Lincoln, John Kennedy, Bobby Kennedy, Medgar Evers, Malcolm X, Martin Luther King, John Lennon. The real reason that we cant have the Ten Commandments in a courthouse: You cannot post Thou shalt not steal, Thou shalt not commit adultery, and Thou shalt not lie in a building full of lawyers, judges, and politicians. George Carlin has many famous quotes about government, education and the American dream that are often referenced as truth. What do you say? The first one is: 'Never believe ANYthing the government says.' George Carlin Believe, Government, Rules To Live By 48 Copy quote Tell people an invisible man in the sky created all things, they believe you. Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck. Toothpicks?George Carlin, No matter how you care to define it, I do not identify with the local group. function isShowingBuyableFeatures() { That's the problem. Life gets really simple once you cut out all the bullshit they teach you in school. var sourcesToHideBuyFeatures = ["ebfg_gr", "ebfg_fb", "ebfg_fbm", "ebfg_tw", The planet is fine. Goalcast inspires the world through stories. Weve added years to life, not life to years. The upper class keeps all of the money, pays none of the taxes. The game is rigged and nobody seems to notice. Vicious Quotes Page 5. . Then you live in an old age home. Tell them the paint is wet, and they have to touch it to be sure.George Carlin, Instead of warning pregnant women not to drink,I think female alcoholics ought to be told not to fuckGeorge Carlin, I tried to believe that there is a God, who created each of us in His own image and likeness, loves us very much, and keeps a close eye on things. George Carlin "The planet is fine. George Carlin, Is a vegetarian permitted to eat animal crackers?George Carlin, Electricity is really just organized lightningGeorge Carlin, Would a fly without wings be called a walk?George Carlin, There are women named Faith, Hope, Joy, and Prudence.
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